Saturday, February 27, 2010
Griffin and Gabriel
Griffin and Gabriel look alike. I see Gabriel in his face. It is an amazing thing. I still miss Gabriel everyday, in fact I have cried for him several times since the birth of Griffin, but I also feel a peace that I haven't felt since my loss. I am a mom with a baby here to take care of now. My purpose is being fulfilled, my arms are no longer empty. I will always miss Gabriel, but I will also always be grateful to Griffin for giving my purpose back to me.
Friday, February 26, 2010
The birth story
As you all know Griffin was born on February 14th (valentines day) at 12:30 am. There are no words to describe how happy I am that he is here and how wonderful my new little man is.
I wanted to share my birth story so here it is :) In case you didn't know I decided before the birth to try to do it without an epidural. I wanted to do things as naturally as possible and to fully experience it.
I started having contractions that were waking me up from sleep at 3am Feb 13th, nothing new, so I just tried to ignore them as much as possible, but they were waking me up about every 20 minutes.
Then by 5am they were coming about 10 minutes apart. That continued for about 2 hours. At this point I was just thinking here comes more false labor.
Soon the contractions were getting stronger and stronger and stronger. They kept coming no matter what I did and soon were 5 min apart consistently.
I kept telling myself it wasn't real because I didn't want to get my hopes up, but these contractions had never hurt this much before and I was getting so emotional!
After lunch they took a turn and started doing some VERY painful things, like not fully going away and before a new one would start. They were just getting so strong and painful. Everytime I would think they couldn't get more intense or more painful they would! It was very emotional for me, I was crying through some of these really bad contractions. I did NOT want to cry, but no matter how hard I tired not to cry, the tears would squirt out anyway.
So around 2:30pm we decided it was time to start heading into the hospital. We jumped into the car, and the labor spaced out slightly on the drive. When we got there the contractions were 10 minutes apart again. They took me up and hooked me up to the monitors. I was contracting regularly enough that they wanted to admit me, and they checked my cervix, it was still 3-4 cm but now fully effaced and they said his amniotic sac was BULDGING. The nurse was saying it is going to break VERY soon.
My Aunt Kerry was our Douala and she was also thinking my water was going to break very soon based on her experience and the strength of my contractions.
They took me back to a room and now things were REALLY serious. I was pretty much totally in my own world trying very hard to deal with the pain I was having constructively. Right about now I lost all ability to make decisions. People kept asking me things like do you want to try this position or do you want a drink, and all I could say was I don't know. Just when I thought it couldn't get more intense it did, they got closer together, about 3 minutes apart. Now I was having a hard time keeping control of my breathing and starting to get a bit hysterical near the peak of each contraction. Jeremy and my aunt were life savers, talking me through it, and pushing on my back to ease the pain. I found it so helpful to make noise, to moan to groan to let out some of the pain.
It was right about this time that I was feeling like there was no way I could continue. I was saying I need pain meds, please give me something, I CANNOT do this anymore. Jeremy and my aunt reminded me that I really wanted to do it naturally. I agreed to get through another 5 minutes before making a decision. 5 minutes passed and I still wanted drugs so they popped in an IV. I don't remember much of it but I am told it took them 1/2 an hour to get that IV in. They gave me something in the IV but let me tell you what it did NOTHING to make the contractions hurt less. I say it was like throwing a drop of water at a burning house... so in hindsight probably not worth it.
Soon during the contractions I started to feel different. A pressure, almost a pulling down feeling, it felt better to grunt. I needed to push. The midwife checked me and I was ALMOST 10cm She told me I could do little pushes. I did that for a while and nothing was changing, contractions were now about 1 minute apart, and my water had still NOT broken despite everyone's earlier thoughts.
Finally the midwife came in a broke my water because Griffin was not coming down and she felt this was why my cervix was not dilating the last little bit. Soon after that it was time to get down to business. I assumed the pushing position. Holding my legs and pushing with all of my might. This is where things got the most intense for me, my contractions never fully went away before another would begin. There was about 30 seconds from the start of one contraction to the start of the next.
I was pushing and pushing, I felt like it was never going to end. I was told that the pain is less when you push and I found that the pain in my tummy and back was less but for me the pain moved down low not away. I was working soooooo hard. They kept telling me that he was going to be here soon, and I kept saying "NO not soon, I want him here now!!!"
After a while they were telling me they could see his hair, so they put up a mirror and then I could see him too. It was almost over, I kept going. Soon the midwife was telling me to push little pushes and out popped his head, and then with one more push the rest of him came out, she pulled him out and plopped him right up and onto me.
That moment is the moment I remember most clearly from that whole day. The intense pain that I thought would never end was instantly gone, and there he was, warm, wet, and fuzzy. He was real, and in my arms. He was here! I was asking is he ok? because he did not make any noise right away, it took him about 30 seconds to start crying. But when he did it was such an amazing sound. My little boy was here and he was alive and making noise!
Jeremy was standing next to me just looking like he was awe struck. He kissed me and said "we did it, and I love you!" I was rubbing Griffin's back and holding his hand and just marveling at him. I loved him for all this time and now he was here in my arms, I had imagined this moment so much over the last months, and it could never compare to the real thing. It was AMAZING.
A sense of relief like I have never felt flooded through me. It was over, this journey that had been soooo full of worry and unknowns, was over. My baby was here, my baby was ok, everything I had gone through had been so worth it.
Within the first 5 minutes Griffin welcomed me as his mommy by peeing and pooping on me. I didn't even care!
I must say that the labor and birth experience was INTENSE, I'm not sure if I would choose to do it without an epidural if I get pregnant again, but I wouldn't take back a second of this experience because despite the pain, it was an unbeliveable thing to be a part of, and it's what brought Griffin safely into this world.
I wanted to share my birth story so here it is :) In case you didn't know I decided before the birth to try to do it without an epidural. I wanted to do things as naturally as possible and to fully experience it.
I started having contractions that were waking me up from sleep at 3am Feb 13th, nothing new, so I just tried to ignore them as much as possible, but they were waking me up about every 20 minutes.
Then by 5am they were coming about 10 minutes apart. That continued for about 2 hours. At this point I was just thinking here comes more false labor.
Soon the contractions were getting stronger and stronger and stronger. They kept coming no matter what I did and soon were 5 min apart consistently.
I kept telling myself it wasn't real because I didn't want to get my hopes up, but these contractions had never hurt this much before and I was getting so emotional!
After lunch they took a turn and started doing some VERY painful things, like not fully going away and before a new one would start. They were just getting so strong and painful. Everytime I would think they couldn't get more intense or more painful they would! It was very emotional for me, I was crying through some of these really bad contractions. I did NOT want to cry, but no matter how hard I tired not to cry, the tears would squirt out anyway.
So around 2:30pm we decided it was time to start heading into the hospital. We jumped into the car, and the labor spaced out slightly on the drive. When we got there the contractions were 10 minutes apart again. They took me up and hooked me up to the monitors. I was contracting regularly enough that they wanted to admit me, and they checked my cervix, it was still 3-4 cm but now fully effaced and they said his amniotic sac was BULDGING. The nurse was saying it is going to break VERY soon.
My Aunt Kerry was our Douala and she was also thinking my water was going to break very soon based on her experience and the strength of my contractions.
They took me back to a room and now things were REALLY serious. I was pretty much totally in my own world trying very hard to deal with the pain I was having constructively. Right about now I lost all ability to make decisions. People kept asking me things like do you want to try this position or do you want a drink, and all I could say was I don't know. Just when I thought it couldn't get more intense it did, they got closer together, about 3 minutes apart. Now I was having a hard time keeping control of my breathing and starting to get a bit hysterical near the peak of each contraction. Jeremy and my aunt were life savers, talking me through it, and pushing on my back to ease the pain. I found it so helpful to make noise, to moan to groan to let out some of the pain.
It was right about this time that I was feeling like there was no way I could continue. I was saying I need pain meds, please give me something, I CANNOT do this anymore. Jeremy and my aunt reminded me that I really wanted to do it naturally. I agreed to get through another 5 minutes before making a decision. 5 minutes passed and I still wanted drugs so they popped in an IV. I don't remember much of it but I am told it took them 1/2 an hour to get that IV in. They gave me something in the IV but let me tell you what it did NOTHING to make the contractions hurt less. I say it was like throwing a drop of water at a burning house... so in hindsight probably not worth it.
Soon during the contractions I started to feel different. A pressure, almost a pulling down feeling, it felt better to grunt. I needed to push. The midwife checked me and I was ALMOST 10cm She told me I could do little pushes. I did that for a while and nothing was changing, contractions were now about 1 minute apart, and my water had still NOT broken despite everyone's earlier thoughts.
Finally the midwife came in a broke my water because Griffin was not coming down and she felt this was why my cervix was not dilating the last little bit. Soon after that it was time to get down to business. I assumed the pushing position. Holding my legs and pushing with all of my might. This is where things got the most intense for me, my contractions never fully went away before another would begin. There was about 30 seconds from the start of one contraction to the start of the next.
I was pushing and pushing, I felt like it was never going to end. I was told that the pain is less when you push and I found that the pain in my tummy and back was less but for me the pain moved down low not away. I was working soooooo hard. They kept telling me that he was going to be here soon, and I kept saying "NO not soon, I want him here now!!!"
After a while they were telling me they could see his hair, so they put up a mirror and then I could see him too. It was almost over, I kept going. Soon the midwife was telling me to push little pushes and out popped his head, and then with one more push the rest of him came out, she pulled him out and plopped him right up and onto me.
That moment is the moment I remember most clearly from that whole day. The intense pain that I thought would never end was instantly gone, and there he was, warm, wet, and fuzzy. He was real, and in my arms. He was here! I was asking is he ok? because he did not make any noise right away, it took him about 30 seconds to start crying. But when he did it was such an amazing sound. My little boy was here and he was alive and making noise!
Jeremy was standing next to me just looking like he was awe struck. He kissed me and said "we did it, and I love you!" I was rubbing Griffin's back and holding his hand and just marveling at him. I loved him for all this time and now he was here in my arms, I had imagined this moment so much over the last months, and it could never compare to the real thing. It was AMAZING.
A sense of relief like I have never felt flooded through me. It was over, this journey that had been soooo full of worry and unknowns, was over. My baby was here, my baby was ok, everything I had gone through had been so worth it.
Within the first 5 minutes Griffin welcomed me as his mommy by peeing and pooping on me. I didn't even care!
I must say that the labor and birth experience was INTENSE, I'm not sure if I would choose to do it without an epidural if I get pregnant again, but I wouldn't take back a second of this experience because despite the pain, it was an unbeliveable thing to be a part of, and it's what brought Griffin safely into this world.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
update after 38 weeks apointment
Went to my appointment with the midwife today, progress continues. I am now 3-4 cm dilated, 95%effaced, and the amniotic sac is tight (she said this means it is more likely to break anytime now). She said that she will be surprised if I make it to my appointment with her next week... so we will see what happens. She said all of this Pre-labor (contractions feeling real, and starting and stopping) I am having is normal so the waiting continues just a bit longer.
Come on Griffin Mommy and Daddy are ready to meet you!
Come on Griffin Mommy and Daddy are ready to meet you!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
False labor
A subject I have become all to familiar with is false labor... I have been having contractions since 27 weeks!
Since the cerclage came out 2 weeks ago these contractions have taken on a whole new strength and intensity but still nothing has stuck around long enough to get this little man born!
I thought I might have something exciting to share with you on Saturday, I thought I was going into labor, but then it went away. I woke up at 3am with a REALLY bad contraction and couldn't go back to sleep because they kept coming so I woke Jeremy up and we started timing them, they were 5-7 minutes apart and pretty dang strong! I walked around, sat up for a while, took a bath and none of it changed them. I thought this was a good sign that it was the real thing. I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep so at 6:30am I decided to go lay back down and rest a bit, I was still having contractions when I fell back to sleep but when I woke up a few hours later they were gone.
I got up and got ready for the day, took a shower and got dressed, and then went up stairs to help cook lunch. They started again, but now they were even more irregular, more like 5-15 minutes apart, I still thought maybe it was real because they were soooo strong, I was moaning a bit through them because they HURT! Well this went on for a while, I took another bath, same thing, then called my aunt (who is a doula), she suggested I take a walk, so I did that. Nothing changed and then closer to the evening they started loosing strength. Still coming same interval just not very painful anymore, I could talk right through them. They continued until I went to bed around 1am and then nothing throughout the night.
Sunday and Monday were both the calmest days I had in weeks maybe only 10 contractions in total each day.
Yesterday they decided to hit full force again, VERY strong contractions 5-15 minutes apart. I did consider going to the hospital because they stayed 5 minutes or less apart for close to 2 hours but just when I was really getting serious they spaced back out a bit and got irregular again. yesterday it started at 2pm and continued until I went to bed. The difference between yesterday and Saturday is that yesterday almost ALL of them were VERY strong. Only right before bed did they start calming down a bit.
I am so ready to meet this little guy I wish my body would just get down to business, instead of playing around like this... it just tires me out physically and emotionally.
I have also been loosing my mucous plug for the past week now, so I hope that is a good sign.
I go back to see the midwife tomorrow so we will find out if all of these contractions have had any effect on my cervix or not. Last check I was 2cm dilated and 90% effaced.
It's so funny after all this time of hoping and praying for Griffin to stay put, now I am hoping and praying to meet him. I really am so grateful to have carried him this long. It has been a miracle.
Since the cerclage came out 2 weeks ago these contractions have taken on a whole new strength and intensity but still nothing has stuck around long enough to get this little man born!
I thought I might have something exciting to share with you on Saturday, I thought I was going into labor, but then it went away. I woke up at 3am with a REALLY bad contraction and couldn't go back to sleep because they kept coming so I woke Jeremy up and we started timing them, they were 5-7 minutes apart and pretty dang strong! I walked around, sat up for a while, took a bath and none of it changed them. I thought this was a good sign that it was the real thing. I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep so at 6:30am I decided to go lay back down and rest a bit, I was still having contractions when I fell back to sleep but when I woke up a few hours later they were gone.
I got up and got ready for the day, took a shower and got dressed, and then went up stairs to help cook lunch. They started again, but now they were even more irregular, more like 5-15 minutes apart, I still thought maybe it was real because they were soooo strong, I was moaning a bit through them because they HURT! Well this went on for a while, I took another bath, same thing, then called my aunt (who is a doula), she suggested I take a walk, so I did that. Nothing changed and then closer to the evening they started loosing strength. Still coming same interval just not very painful anymore, I could talk right through them. They continued until I went to bed around 1am and then nothing throughout the night.
Sunday and Monday were both the calmest days I had in weeks maybe only 10 contractions in total each day.
Yesterday they decided to hit full force again, VERY strong contractions 5-15 minutes apart. I did consider going to the hospital because they stayed 5 minutes or less apart for close to 2 hours but just when I was really getting serious they spaced back out a bit and got irregular again. yesterday it started at 2pm and continued until I went to bed. The difference between yesterday and Saturday is that yesterday almost ALL of them were VERY strong. Only right before bed did they start calming down a bit.
I am so ready to meet this little guy I wish my body would just get down to business, instead of playing around like this... it just tires me out physically and emotionally.
I have also been loosing my mucous plug for the past week now, so I hope that is a good sign.
I go back to see the midwife tomorrow so we will find out if all of these contractions have had any effect on my cervix or not. Last check I was 2cm dilated and 90% effaced.
It's so funny after all this time of hoping and praying for Griffin to stay put, now I am hoping and praying to meet him. I really am so grateful to have carried him this long. It has been a miracle.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
37 weeks
Sorry it has been so long! I really haven't had much to say since things have been pretty calm. I do however have some exciting updates to share so here goes...
First of all my cerclage came out last week Tuesday Jan 26th at 35 weeks +5 days. That in and of itself was not a fun experience AT ALL. I had been told it was no big deal and that it would mearly be uncomfortable... but OUCH! The Dr was having a hard time getting a good view of the stitch to snip it and in the end tried 3 different sized speculums before he found the right one, and those scissors were HUGE and he kept putting them in and out. It was bad. Jeremy couldn't come because he had to work, so my mom was there with me. She held my hand and I tried really hard not to cry but the tears were squirting out of my eyes anyway... ughh It ended up taking the Dr about 20 minutes to get the stitch out.
When he finally got it and snipped and pulled it out I was so relived it was over! The Dr showed me the string that had held things together down there for so long, and I was surprised that's what it looked like. I thought it would look formidable, but it just looked like a blue thread. Amazing!
After the stitch came out I was sent for monitoring, not much going on right after but then when mom and I started for home I got some REALLY big contractions the biggest ones I've ever had. They were pretty painful. They stayed about 10 minutes apart for most of the evening and then spaced back out. I had contractions again that night that kept waking me up with pain, which by the way is not a fun way to wake up! Around 4:30 I couldn't sleep anymore and Jeremy got up with me to time them. They were only 5 minutes apart VERY consistently. We thought maybe this was it. Then after two hours... poof... they were gone. At that point I was so tired so I went back to sleep and slept until about 12:30pm.
Now it has been just over a week from then and things have been fairly calm. The Dr also took me off my contraction medication. I haven't noticed a huge difference in how often I am getting contractions just that they seem to be consistently stronger. I am still having contractions every day usually 2-3 an hour.
Another exciting bit of news is that since I am so far along I no longer need to be part of the high risk clinic so they transferred me to the low risk clinic right next door in the hospital where we are delivering. The reason I am happy about this is because since I am low risk now I get to have a midwife do my delivery. It is what I would prefer because I would like to do things as naturally as possible, and midwives are much more supportive of that.
My first appointment at the low risk clinic was yesterday and it went very well. The midwife checked me and I have made progress... HURRAY! I am now 2 cms dilated, 90% effaced (cervix thinned out), and Griffin's head is engaged... the midwife said... wow he is right there! Now that I am 37 weeks Griffin is considered full term and he can come anytime he wants with no complaints from anyone, including me ;) The midwife says she thinks he will come sometime in the next week 2 at most and I know that she can't tell the future but it is still soooo exciting!
I am soooooo uncomfortable now! Moving hurts! I am allowed to do anything I want now, and have been doing some exercises to help me get stronger for labor but if I stand or walk for more than a few minutes my back KILLS me. Another thing that has become really hard is rolling over in bed, it hurts my tummy and hips when I roll over. Griffin is also still sitting right on top of my bladder even worse than before, so I pretty much always have to do acrobats, lean every direction and be very patient to go the the bathroom.
Now that Griffin is safe and I don't have to worry about him anymore I have been thinking more and more about this whole labor thing... lol I will admit I am SCARED! Jeremy and I did take birthing classes and I did a lot of reading about it, but somehow all of the talking and reading still leaves me scared of the unknowns. I am going to try REALLY hard to do this birth with no pain medication. I think it will make it a more rewarding experience for me to be able to do it naturally, and I know it is better for Griffin. I am also realistic. I don't like to be in pain (who does?) So if I decide part way through that "I want the drugs!!!!" I will not be disappointed in myself.
I know it is so close now. It funny because The Drs kept telling me I would not make it to full term but hear I am. Griffin and I proved them all wrong. Despite my fears of labor, I can't wait to meet Griffin and I admit I am getting impatient. When will this little man show up? I hope it's soon :)
First of all my cerclage came out last week Tuesday Jan 26th at 35 weeks +5 days. That in and of itself was not a fun experience AT ALL. I had been told it was no big deal and that it would mearly be uncomfortable... but OUCH! The Dr was having a hard time getting a good view of the stitch to snip it and in the end tried 3 different sized speculums before he found the right one, and those scissors were HUGE and he kept putting them in and out. It was bad. Jeremy couldn't come because he had to work, so my mom was there with me. She held my hand and I tried really hard not to cry but the tears were squirting out of my eyes anyway... ughh It ended up taking the Dr about 20 minutes to get the stitch out.
When he finally got it and snipped and pulled it out I was so relived it was over! The Dr showed me the string that had held things together down there for so long, and I was surprised that's what it looked like. I thought it would look formidable, but it just looked like a blue thread. Amazing!
After the stitch came out I was sent for monitoring, not much going on right after but then when mom and I started for home I got some REALLY big contractions the biggest ones I've ever had. They were pretty painful. They stayed about 10 minutes apart for most of the evening and then spaced back out. I had contractions again that night that kept waking me up with pain, which by the way is not a fun way to wake up! Around 4:30 I couldn't sleep anymore and Jeremy got up with me to time them. They were only 5 minutes apart VERY consistently. We thought maybe this was it. Then after two hours... poof... they were gone. At that point I was so tired so I went back to sleep and slept until about 12:30pm.
Now it has been just over a week from then and things have been fairly calm. The Dr also took me off my contraction medication. I haven't noticed a huge difference in how often I am getting contractions just that they seem to be consistently stronger. I am still having contractions every day usually 2-3 an hour.
Another exciting bit of news is that since I am so far along I no longer need to be part of the high risk clinic so they transferred me to the low risk clinic right next door in the hospital where we are delivering. The reason I am happy about this is because since I am low risk now I get to have a midwife do my delivery. It is what I would prefer because I would like to do things as naturally as possible, and midwives are much more supportive of that.
My first appointment at the low risk clinic was yesterday and it went very well. The midwife checked me and I have made progress... HURRAY! I am now 2 cms dilated, 90% effaced (cervix thinned out), and Griffin's head is engaged... the midwife said... wow he is right there! Now that I am 37 weeks Griffin is considered full term and he can come anytime he wants with no complaints from anyone, including me ;) The midwife says she thinks he will come sometime in the next week 2 at most and I know that she can't tell the future but it is still soooo exciting!
I am soooooo uncomfortable now! Moving hurts! I am allowed to do anything I want now, and have been doing some exercises to help me get stronger for labor but if I stand or walk for more than a few minutes my back KILLS me. Another thing that has become really hard is rolling over in bed, it hurts my tummy and hips when I roll over. Griffin is also still sitting right on top of my bladder even worse than before, so I pretty much always have to do acrobats, lean every direction and be very patient to go the the bathroom.
Now that Griffin is safe and I don't have to worry about him anymore I have been thinking more and more about this whole labor thing... lol I will admit I am SCARED! Jeremy and I did take birthing classes and I did a lot of reading about it, but somehow all of the talking and reading still leaves me scared of the unknowns. I am going to try REALLY hard to do this birth with no pain medication. I think it will make it a more rewarding experience for me to be able to do it naturally, and I know it is better for Griffin. I am also realistic. I don't like to be in pain (who does?) So if I decide part way through that "I want the drugs!!!!" I will not be disappointed in myself.
I know it is so close now. It funny because The Drs kept telling me I would not make it to full term but hear I am. Griffin and I proved them all wrong. Despite my fears of labor, I can't wait to meet Griffin and I admit I am getting impatient. When will this little man show up? I hope it's soon :)
Friday, January 15, 2010
34 week update
To start with a Picture of my growing tummy! :)
Hi everyone,
The good new is Griffin and I have reached 34 weeks. It feels like such a big accomplishment! If I can make it just a few more weeks Griffin will NOT be considered premature if he is born... now that will be AWESOME!
The bad news is that the past week or so I have been fighting with lots of contractions again... BOO! They are coming mostly in the afternoons and evenings and usually 3-6 an hour. I was in labor and delivery once this week for a shot to stop them because they got to be a bit too close for comfort and almost went in again last night but decided to wait it out a bit and luckily they did space back out and I was able to go to sleep.
The Dr did not seem as concerned about the contractions as I thought she would be, just told me to take my contraction meds every 3 hours instead of every 4 if they start getting to close together. So even though I tend to be a worry wart I am trying to relax and leave this all in God's hands. When it's time Griffin will be born so I'm trying to trust in that.
I am also getting much stronger contractions now, which make me stop in my tracks and breath through it. They are getting painful too... so another boo for that one. It is interesting because I'm already finding out things that irritate me when I am trying to concentrate on getting through one. I had to tell Jeremy, do not talk to me and ask me questions while I am having a contraction... also the other night I had one and he was touching my hand so lightly it tickled. After the contraction was over I told him that's a no no too! lol... I wonder if these will be the same things that will bug me when I am in full blown labor.
Griffin is still looking good they did a quick ultrasound today and we saw him practicing breathing... you could see his chest rising and falling it was such as sweet sight! He also looked REALLY big today... that head of his is starting to look a bit daunting as the day of his escape draws closer ;) It's funny because before the ultrasound he was moving like crazy and then during she was trying to get him to move and he was just sleeping and ignoring all of the belly pokes. She ended up getting this little tool that makes a loud buzzing noise a bit like an alarm to wake him up... he was not happy about it!
The plan is currently to take my cerclage out in two weeks baring unforeseen circumstances and he will probably come soon after that... the day we get to meet him is getting so close and I am so excited! I can't wait to see what he looks like and find out what it feels like to hold him in my arms after all this time of carrying him around in my tummy!
the count down is on! :D
Sunday, January 3, 2010
32 week Dr apointment
Just quick update after my Dr appointment last Thursday.
This past week and a half I've been getting sharp, pinchy pains that feel like they are coming from my cervix, so I talked to the Dr about them and she said we do not need to worry about any pain I feel there unless it is acompanied by bleeding so they didn't check my cervix. It's weird after knowing what it was up to every week to now have gone over 2 weeks without a check and have no clue what's going on in there!
The past few weeks I've also been having trouble emptying my bladder because Griffin is sitting right on top of things, so I have to lean this way and that way and it's such a slow process, and also very irritating but the Dr said as long as I'm still going and don't feel pain with urination they aren't going to worry about it.
I'm not going to have another appointment for 2 weeks again at which time they will give me a growth scan just to make sure Griffin is still on track and that everything looks good, so I am excited about that because I wasn't expecting any more ultrasounds.
She also told me that after my next appointment I can transfer back to my local Dr cause a baby born at 34 weeks does not need a level 3 NICU anymore and should do just fine. So at that point if I'm still pregnant I can also deliver at the local hospital instead of the big one an hour away if I want too, it's a lot to think about! They said we can stay with them through to the end as well, whatever makes us comfortable, so Jer and I are still thinking about it, but haven't made any decisions yet.
The great news is that I am now officially allowed to start slowly adding some activity back into my life! I was soooo excited because bedrest has been driving me nutty! So Thursday evening, we went out to dinner and a movie, and it was so much fun! Another positive that came out of it is that I slept so good Thursday night because I was so tired and worn out. It was great, I'm so glad to be able to start building up some strength again before the labor!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
31 Weeks
So I have finally made it to 31 weeks. Griffin now weighs about 3.5 - 4 lbs. He now has about a 98% chance of survival if born. We have come so far and I am thankful for so much!
When I got the cerclage I wondered every single day, if he would make it far enough to have a chance at life. Now it is amazing and wonderful that we are where we are. We made it past Christmas, and he is still in my belly :) I have really tired to take one day at a time, and sometimes it is so unbelievable how far we have come, and I still haven't given up hope to make it farther. I know Griffin and I can do this, we just have to hang on a little bit longer to give him a good chance at avoiding the NICU.
I can tell that Griffin is getting heavier because wow, I feel it. Sometimes when I stand up (which is not very often!) I feel like there is a bowling ball sitting in my tummy. Such a weird and uncomfortable feeling! My tummy is also growing at quite a good pace now, because in the last bit of pregnancy the baby's main job is putting on weight, so he is getting bigger with each passing day and I can tell for sure! Right now he is gaining about a 1/2 lb a week. Here is a picture showing just 2 weeks of growth :)
When I got the cerclage I wondered every single day, if he would make it far enough to have a chance at life. Now it is amazing and wonderful that we are where we are. We made it past Christmas, and he is still in my belly :) I have really tired to take one day at a time, and sometimes it is so unbelievable how far we have come, and I still haven't given up hope to make it farther. I know Griffin and I can do this, we just have to hang on a little bit longer to give him a good chance at avoiding the NICU.
Things have been going pretty smoothly lately. It seems like the meds they have me on for contractions are working because I have been having less and less, and for the last few days, not even anything worth keeping track of! It's awesome to go from 15-20 a day now, down to basically none, I love it!
So something I haven't talked about in a while are my pregnancy symptoms hehe, always fun to complainI can tell that Griffin is getting heavier because wow, I feel it. Sometimes when I stand up (which is not very often!) I feel like there is a bowling ball sitting in my tummy. Such a weird and uncomfortable feeling! My tummy is also growing at quite a good pace now, because in the last bit of pregnancy the baby's main job is putting on weight, so he is getting bigger with each passing day and I can tell for sure! Right now he is gaining about a 1/2 lb a week. Here is a picture showing just 2 weeks of growth :)
It's funny because I have sort of forgotten what it feels like to not have the huge bowling ball in my tummy, what's it like to look down and be able to see my feet? I have no CLUE!?! It's so funny. I was talking to Jeremy this morning about how my whole pregnancy I have been excited about my growing belly, and always ask him about how big it looks, and when he tells me it looks huge, it makes me happy cause I wanted the big baby belly, and because every time my tummy gets bigger it means Griffin is getting bigger, but now as I am getting closer to when he will be born, and I think about loosing the weight and trying to look like myself again, I told him after the baby is born, instead of needing reassurance about how big I am getting he is going to have to switch gears and tell me, about how much smaller I look. I wonder how long it will take to look "normal" again.
The aches and pains have definitely gotten worse. early in the pregnancy I didn't have too much trouble with back pain but that has kicked in for sure, and for some reason a lot of neck issues lately. I think it's from sitting in the recliner all day. Also I have been having a lot of pain in my left hip, worst when I sleep and lay on my left side, but that is how you are supposed to sleep when you are pregnant so I can't avoid it as much as I would like too. I've been to the chiropractor a few times, which has helped but seems to wear off way to quickly.
Griffin is still the crazy active little guy he has been all along, keeps me laughing for sure. Some of his movements have gotten very uncomfortable though. The ones I mentioned a few weeks ago where he smashes against my uterus sometimes make me go uuugh. It feels like he's trying to break out. I describe it as how it feels when you have eaten a REALLY big meal and your just stuffed, but worse!
Today was also a first for Griffin, the first time I felt him having hiccups in there. I guess it is a good sign of lung development from what I've heard so hurray!
Other than that nothing too much new on the symptoms front.
Griffin and I are hanging in there and we are SOOOO grateful for all of you rooting for and praying for us. Keep it up, it's working!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Home from the hospital yesterday
Yesterday I got to come home from the hospital, my cervix was 2 cm at discharge. I'm still having contractions but not enough to send me back for shots. It is amazing how much I appreciate my own bed and my recliner after being stuck in a hospital bed for almost a week.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
In the hospital (29 weeks)
I had my Dr appointment on Wednesday and my cervix was not looking good, it measured about 1.5 cm, with funneling(dilation) to the stitch, I had also been having a lot of contractions this week and was in labor and delivery twice in the last week to get tributiline (a horrible stingy shot in my arm) to stop the contractions. So based on all of this My Dr felt I needed to be admitted for hospital bedrest so they can observe and see if they can get things to calm down. I cried when he told me they were going to admit me, but I know it was for the best.
I had a bunch of contractions right after they admitted me and after observing my contractions for about 2 hours they finally gave me another shot of tributiline to stop them.
Wednesday they also started me on a medication called Indocine, it is an anti-inflammatory drug which works by blocking a hormone called prostaglandin. So far it has shown good results, my contractions have definitely slowed down, and Friday I had a cervical ultrasound which showed the best results we have seen in 3-4 weeks. 2.5 cm and closed above the stitch, I was so happy! I asked the Dr why it made my cervix so much better than bed rest alone and she said that it's because Prostaglandins are found in you cervix and lower uterus and they signal your body to progress and start getting ready for labor. Because the indocine blocked the Prostaglandins from continuing to do this, it has worked to help my cervix regain some length and slow down my contractions.
Unfortunately they can not keep me on this medicine for very long and today I will be stopping that med. It has a side effect of decreasing the fluid around the baby. The new one they are starting me on is called procardia and will only work to keep me from having contractions. The Dr said that now they just have to wait and see if my cervix will stay looking good, with less contractions. If it is still looking good on Monday they will let me go home, if it is not so good again after stopping the Indocine then I'll be staying here (boo).
It has been hard for me to accept everything going wrong in my pregnancy and each time I feel I have a grasp on it, I feel like things get thrown out of control again. It's so hard because not only did I just want to be a normal pregnant lady, enjoying every moment, nesting and just feeling happiness and anticipation at the arrival of our little one, I wanted Griffin to have it as easy as possible. It's sad for me, but I also worry so much more for my baby. I worry about all of the drugs they are having to pump me full of to keep him put longer. I worry about how early he will be born and what he will have to go through. I put my faith in God, and remember how thankful I am for how far we have come, I'm just holding on right now. Griffin will be here soon and I can't wait to put this behind us and move forward as a family with our little boy safe and sound in our arms.
The first day here I had a lot of back pain, but that has calmed down, and even though I am not as comfortable as I would be in my own bed I'm doing ok. I've been drinking lots of water, and eating too much hospital food (blech) and trying to keep myself busy with reading, sleeping, watching TV, and of course my computer ;)
Griffin has been a trooper, they have been hooking me up to the monitors to check for contractions and his hearbeat twice a day and he doesn't like how tight they have to make the belts, so he always gets mad and kicks them. Then the nurses all come in and say wow, he sure is an active one isn't he? I always just smile and say yep! He has been doing a lot of rolling and wiggling in there lately and making sure I pay enough attention to him.
All of the Drs and nurse keep telling me how good it is that I am at 29 weeks and how everything is going to be ok. My Dr says he thinks we can probably keep Griffin in about 4 more weeks so I am hanging onto all of that positivity and putting one foot in front of the other.
On a happier note, my baby shower was scheduled for this Sunday and now that I am in the hospital it has been moved here! I'm so glad that I have people in my life willing to drive that extra hour to celebrate with us, and people willing to rearrange things and make phone calls to make sure that everyone knew what was going on. There is a room on the second floor of the hospital that we are allowed to use, and as much as I wish we weren't having my baby shower in the hospital I am so glad it was not canceled. It is something I have been looking forward to SOOOO much and I'm so excited to put away the worry and fear for a while and just enjoy the celebration of Griffin becoming a part of our family.
I had a bunch of contractions right after they admitted me and after observing my contractions for about 2 hours they finally gave me another shot of tributiline to stop them.
Wednesday they also started me on a medication called Indocine, it is an anti-inflammatory drug which works by blocking a hormone called prostaglandin. So far it has shown good results, my contractions have definitely slowed down, and Friday I had a cervical ultrasound which showed the best results we have seen in 3-4 weeks. 2.5 cm and closed above the stitch, I was so happy! I asked the Dr why it made my cervix so much better than bed rest alone and she said that it's because Prostaglandins are found in you cervix and lower uterus and they signal your body to progress and start getting ready for labor. Because the indocine blocked the Prostaglandins from continuing to do this, it has worked to help my cervix regain some length and slow down my contractions.
Unfortunately they can not keep me on this medicine for very long and today I will be stopping that med. It has a side effect of decreasing the fluid around the baby. The new one they are starting me on is called procardia and will only work to keep me from having contractions. The Dr said that now they just have to wait and see if my cervix will stay looking good, with less contractions. If it is still looking good on Monday they will let me go home, if it is not so good again after stopping the Indocine then I'll be staying here (boo).
It has been hard for me to accept everything going wrong in my pregnancy and each time I feel I have a grasp on it, I feel like things get thrown out of control again. It's so hard because not only did I just want to be a normal pregnant lady, enjoying every moment, nesting and just feeling happiness and anticipation at the arrival of our little one, I wanted Griffin to have it as easy as possible. It's sad for me, but I also worry so much more for my baby. I worry about all of the drugs they are having to pump me full of to keep him put longer. I worry about how early he will be born and what he will have to go through. I put my faith in God, and remember how thankful I am for how far we have come, I'm just holding on right now. Griffin will be here soon and I can't wait to put this behind us and move forward as a family with our little boy safe and sound in our arms.
The first day here I had a lot of back pain, but that has calmed down, and even though I am not as comfortable as I would be in my own bed I'm doing ok. I've been drinking lots of water, and eating too much hospital food (blech) and trying to keep myself busy with reading, sleeping, watching TV, and of course my computer ;)
Griffin has been a trooper, they have been hooking me up to the monitors to check for contractions and his hearbeat twice a day and he doesn't like how tight they have to make the belts, so he always gets mad and kicks them. Then the nurses all come in and say wow, he sure is an active one isn't he? I always just smile and say yep! He has been doing a lot of rolling and wiggling in there lately and making sure I pay enough attention to him.
All of the Drs and nurse keep telling me how good it is that I am at 29 weeks and how everything is going to be ok. My Dr says he thinks we can probably keep Griffin in about 4 more weeks so I am hanging onto all of that positivity and putting one foot in front of the other.
On a happier note, my baby shower was scheduled for this Sunday and now that I am in the hospital it has been moved here! I'm so glad that I have people in my life willing to drive that extra hour to celebrate with us, and people willing to rearrange things and make phone calls to make sure that everyone knew what was going on. There is a room on the second floor of the hospital that we are allowed to use, and as much as I wish we weren't having my baby shower in the hospital I am so glad it was not canceled. It is something I have been looking forward to SOOOO much and I'm so excited to put away the worry and fear for a while and just enjoy the celebration of Griffin becoming a part of our family.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Griffin's favorite new way of saying hi :)
So Griffin's favorite new way of saying hello is mashing his body parts into the walls of my uterus, how is this different than kicking you might ask? well, what happens is I feel this immense pressure if I put my hand down to my belly I can feel a body lump right under my skin. Usually I think it's his butt, but sometimes his back and it feels like he is trying to push his way out. He will usually keep up steady pressure for about one to two minutes, and if I press my hand there and rub, he will usually roll away from me, like "mom, leave me be!"
Tonight was so weird I felt his butt (I think) abut 3 inches above my belly button I put my hand on the lump and bounced it a bit to see what he would do, and it was sooo weird every time I pushed down I could feel his head hitting my cervix, this totally woke him up and then he stated wiggling like crazy, yeah he makes me laugh!
Tonight was so weird I felt his butt (I think) abut 3 inches above my belly button I put my hand on the lump and bounced it a bit to see what he would do, and it was sooo weird every time I pushed down I could feel his head hitting my cervix, this totally woke him up and then he stated wiggling like crazy, yeah he makes me laugh!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Griffin in 3d
Here are some pictures of our little cutie!!!
This is our little boy practicing how to eat. Yummy thumb :)
This picture shows Griffin's cute little chin and notice he is wearing his placenta like a sumbraro
Waving hello
cute little boy :)
yes, that is a foot up by his face.
Smirking just like his daddy does, lol
yes, he is a little boy, can you tell?
This is our little boy practicing how to eat. Yummy thumb :)
This picture shows Griffin's cute little chin and notice he is wearing his placenta like a sumbraro
Waving hello
cute little boy :)
yes, that is a foot up by his face.
Smirking just like his daddy does, lol
yes, he is a little boy, can you tell?
Monday, November 23, 2009
27 weeks
so I haven't posted in a while so here is the update.
Griffin is getting bigger everyday and according to the growth estimates from our ultrasound the day before thanksgiving he weighs about 2 lbs and 7 oz now!!! Isn't that so cool?!?!? Every ounce he gains brings him closer to a healthy birth weight and that is what we want, to avoid the NICU!!!
My appointments the last few weeks have been ok, My cervix is not staying as long as before and is now showing quite a bit of change with pressure where as before it didn't change much with pressure. My last Dr apt my cervix was 2.3 at it's longest measurement and 1.7 cm at it's shortest. The Dr will not give me any estimation still on how long he thinks I will go, he always just says as long as we can. I'll be happy as long as I make it to at least 34 weeks when they take out my cerclage.
Jeremy and I have started taking childbirth classes and it has been fun but has also really brought to the forefront of my brain the reality that this baby is going to have to get out of my tummy somehow and it will probably be scary and exciting at the same time. Reality is sinking in that this is REALLY going to happen.
I'm not scared of being a mom, just of certain things, like giving birth, and breast feeding. I think these are probably normal first time mom fears. but despite the things I'm nervous about I have way more to be excited about!!!!
I can not wait to hold him in my arms, see his sweet little face and take care of him... I feel so blessed to have gotten this far and everyday my worries about the dangers of having a preemie are fading a bit... soon it will be a fear from the past.
tomorrow is our 3d ultrasound so we will get a real peek into what ur little Griffin is doing, it'll be so interesting :)
Griffin is getting bigger everyday and according to the growth estimates from our ultrasound the day before thanksgiving he weighs about 2 lbs and 7 oz now!!! Isn't that so cool?!?!? Every ounce he gains brings him closer to a healthy birth weight and that is what we want, to avoid the NICU!!!
My appointments the last few weeks have been ok, My cervix is not staying as long as before and is now showing quite a bit of change with pressure where as before it didn't change much with pressure. My last Dr apt my cervix was 2.3 at it's longest measurement and 1.7 cm at it's shortest. The Dr will not give me any estimation still on how long he thinks I will go, he always just says as long as we can. I'll be happy as long as I make it to at least 34 weeks when they take out my cerclage.
Jeremy and I have started taking childbirth classes and it has been fun but has also really brought to the forefront of my brain the reality that this baby is going to have to get out of my tummy somehow and it will probably be scary and exciting at the same time. Reality is sinking in that this is REALLY going to happen.
I'm not scared of being a mom, just of certain things, like giving birth, and breast feeding. I think these are probably normal first time mom fears. but despite the things I'm nervous about I have way more to be excited about!!!!
I can not wait to hold him in my arms, see his sweet little face and take care of him... I feel so blessed to have gotten this far and everyday my worries about the dangers of having a preemie are fading a bit... soon it will be a fear from the past.
tomorrow is our 3d ultrasound so we will get a real peek into what ur little Griffin is doing, it'll be so interesting :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Some Pictures of Jeremy, Griffin (in mommy's tummy) and Candiss!
These are the amature ones... Erin has offered to take some professional ones of us sometime in the next few weeks, I'm really looking forward to it!!!
These are the amature ones... Erin has offered to take some professional ones of us sometime in the next few weeks, I'm really looking forward to it!!!
Pictures of Griffin's new clothes!
sleeper that says: 100% boy
Sleeper that says: here comes trouble
outfit that says: Mellow out dude
outfit that says: Mommy and Daddy love me
This is a special one, the cowboy boots were bought last year by Grandpa Steinke, so they were Gabriel's. Now Griffin will wear them, in honor of his older brother. We got the cutest cowboy/sheriff outfit for him to wear with them. On the back of the jacket is a picture of a doggy cowboy riding a rocking horse, and on the back pocket it says little sheriff :)
front view : notice the sheriff star :)
The onesie that goes underneath
Our bear snow suit for our little Teddy Graham
sleeper that says: 100% boy
Sleeper that says: here comes trouble
outfit that says: Mellow out dude
outfit that says: Mommy and Daddy love me
This is a special one, the cowboy boots were bought last year by Grandpa Steinke, so they were Gabriel's. Now Griffin will wear them, in honor of his older brother. We got the cutest cowboy/sheriff outfit for him to wear with them. On the back of the jacket is a picture of a doggy cowboy riding a rocking horse, and on the back pocket it says little sheriff :)
front view : notice the sheriff star :)
The onesie that goes underneath
Our bear snow suit for our little Teddy Graham
Sunday, November 8, 2009
24 weeks
Hi everyone, Just wanted to give you an update. Something amazing happened this week, Griffin reached viability!!! Hurray!!! This means that If he is born early from this point on he has a chance at life, The Drs and nurse will fight to save him if he is born.
I hope and pray everyday that we make it so much further than this but knowing he has a chance now, lifts a weight from my heart. Everyday he grows stronger, everyday he stays in my tummy he grows bigger and healthier and has a better chance at making it home safe and sound.
This week at the ultrasound Griffin was sooo cute, he is actually starting to look like he is running out of room in there, and he's working on the cutest little pot belly! He was curled up head down in the fetal position with his arms and legs towards my right side, and his ankles crossed. I was wondering why I had been feeling him kick on the right side soooo much, and that explained it!
My Dr appointment this week was full of needles. I had my regular weekly progesterone shot in my right hip and then I got the first of 2 shots of steroids (I went in Friday morning for the second one) which will help Griffin's lungs, intestines, and even heart mature faster in case he is born early. This shot went in my left hip, and ooohhh it stung! Also after much thought and discussion with the Dr we did decide to go ahead and have me get the swine flu vaccine, this one was in my right arm, and stung going in but wasn't so bad after that. Things with my cervix were still nice and stable, and I got permission to go out with Jeremy to start our baby registry as long as I stayed in a wheelchair and kept it to one hour at time. I also finally got permission for Jeremy to take me out to dinner.
So Friday afternoon Jeremy was set to take me out to start our registry and then that evening was going to take me out for dinner, but unfortunately none of it happened. I've been pretty paranoid about getting sick and my mom has been very good about trying to keep the germs away from me and making sure that everyone is washing their hands, but Friday I woke up with a cough, and Jeremy was actually coughing too. My dad and Lindsey have been sick (with flu like symptoms) for about the past two weeks. My dad wasn't getting better so my mom finally insisted on him going to the Dr. The news after testing, he has full blown swine flu. The Drs are taking it very seriously so everyone in the house was put on a prescription of a medicine called Tamiflu which is an antiviral, which will help prevent flu from taking hold, or reduce symptoms and severity if you are already sick.
So since we were exposed and possibly infected with swine flu, (so much for the vaccine I got the day before) Jeremy and I decided to delay our trip until we saw how our health was over the weekend.
So amazingly I am feeling really good right now, I took my first dose of tamiflu Friday evening and by the next day my cough was almost gone and I felt almost totally better, everyone else seems to be doing fine, and my dad is starting to feel better. Lindsey had the worst cough and ended up with another prescription for an inhaler and an antibiotic. Hopefully everything will be ok. If Jer and I are still doing fine by Tuesday he will take me to start our registry then, and out to dinner on Friday. So I'm looking forward to my first trip out of the house for something fun, in the last 6 weeks!
Other than that I've started having some braxton hicks contractions which I'm told is normal but it still makes me nervous. They seem to happen more in the evening and especially when my bladder is full. I've been told if I start having a contraction once every 10 minutes to worry but if I just have a few at random intervals that I need not worry. I just want to tell my uterus to relax, it really doesn't need to "practice" yet!
I also have permission to start birthing classes. They start this week, but we are still waiting to see if Jeremy can get Thursday nights off for the next couple of months so we can go. I'm supposed to do mostly observation, in other words no getting into birthing positions or doing anything that might stress my body or increase abdominal pressure. I can participate in breathing or any relaxation things and of course take full advantage of all the instruction and information we will be given.
My tummy is starting to feel really big sometimes, and I'm loving it, although it does make it a bit harder to roll over in bed at night, lol.
My hormones have been running a bit high this last week so I've been pretty emotional about everything, I don't know what I would do without Jeremy keeping me sane, grounded and cheered up when I'm sad or worried.
He also did the sweetest thing this week he bought Griffin 2 outfits and 2 pairs of pajamas and gave them to me the morning Griffin reached 24 weeks as a happy 24 weeks present! And for being a guy, he did a really good job and picked out some really cool stuff. He also told me that when he ran out to get some groceries last week he saw a bear snowsuit, with little bear ears, and paws for hands and feet... so he is going to pick it up today. Our little Teddy Graham is going to have a bear snow suit, how cute is that!
We also had a celebration cake on Saturday to commemorate Griffin reaching 24 weeks. My mom made a yummy chocolate forest cake, which is a made from scratch chocolate cake with cherries, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings on top... We had candles that said happy day and Jeremy and I blew them out together, it was so much fun.
So that's the LONG update!
Here is my belly pic for 24 weeks
The celebration cake made by Grandma Jane
I hope and pray everyday that we make it so much further than this but knowing he has a chance now, lifts a weight from my heart. Everyday he grows stronger, everyday he stays in my tummy he grows bigger and healthier and has a better chance at making it home safe and sound.
This week at the ultrasound Griffin was sooo cute, he is actually starting to look like he is running out of room in there, and he's working on the cutest little pot belly! He was curled up head down in the fetal position with his arms and legs towards my right side, and his ankles crossed. I was wondering why I had been feeling him kick on the right side soooo much, and that explained it!
My Dr appointment this week was full of needles. I had my regular weekly progesterone shot in my right hip and then I got the first of 2 shots of steroids (I went in Friday morning for the second one) which will help Griffin's lungs, intestines, and even heart mature faster in case he is born early. This shot went in my left hip, and ooohhh it stung! Also after much thought and discussion with the Dr we did decide to go ahead and have me get the swine flu vaccine, this one was in my right arm, and stung going in but wasn't so bad after that. Things with my cervix were still nice and stable, and I got permission to go out with Jeremy to start our baby registry as long as I stayed in a wheelchair and kept it to one hour at time. I also finally got permission for Jeremy to take me out to dinner.
So Friday afternoon Jeremy was set to take me out to start our registry and then that evening was going to take me out for dinner, but unfortunately none of it happened. I've been pretty paranoid about getting sick and my mom has been very good about trying to keep the germs away from me and making sure that everyone is washing their hands, but Friday I woke up with a cough, and Jeremy was actually coughing too. My dad and Lindsey have been sick (with flu like symptoms) for about the past two weeks. My dad wasn't getting better so my mom finally insisted on him going to the Dr. The news after testing, he has full blown swine flu. The Drs are taking it very seriously so everyone in the house was put on a prescription of a medicine called Tamiflu which is an antiviral, which will help prevent flu from taking hold, or reduce symptoms and severity if you are already sick.
So since we were exposed and possibly infected with swine flu, (so much for the vaccine I got the day before) Jeremy and I decided to delay our trip until we saw how our health was over the weekend.
So amazingly I am feeling really good right now, I took my first dose of tamiflu Friday evening and by the next day my cough was almost gone and I felt almost totally better, everyone else seems to be doing fine, and my dad is starting to feel better. Lindsey had the worst cough and ended up with another prescription for an inhaler and an antibiotic. Hopefully everything will be ok. If Jer and I are still doing fine by Tuesday he will take me to start our registry then, and out to dinner on Friday. So I'm looking forward to my first trip out of the house for something fun, in the last 6 weeks!
Other than that I've started having some braxton hicks contractions which I'm told is normal but it still makes me nervous. They seem to happen more in the evening and especially when my bladder is full. I've been told if I start having a contraction once every 10 minutes to worry but if I just have a few at random intervals that I need not worry. I just want to tell my uterus to relax, it really doesn't need to "practice" yet!
I also have permission to start birthing classes. They start this week, but we are still waiting to see if Jeremy can get Thursday nights off for the next couple of months so we can go. I'm supposed to do mostly observation, in other words no getting into birthing positions or doing anything that might stress my body or increase abdominal pressure. I can participate in breathing or any relaxation things and of course take full advantage of all the instruction and information we will be given.
My tummy is starting to feel really big sometimes, and I'm loving it, although it does make it a bit harder to roll over in bed at night, lol.
My hormones have been running a bit high this last week so I've been pretty emotional about everything, I don't know what I would do without Jeremy keeping me sane, grounded and cheered up when I'm sad or worried.
He also did the sweetest thing this week he bought Griffin 2 outfits and 2 pairs of pajamas and gave them to me the morning Griffin reached 24 weeks as a happy 24 weeks present! And for being a guy, he did a really good job and picked out some really cool stuff. He also told me that when he ran out to get some groceries last week he saw a bear snowsuit, with little bear ears, and paws for hands and feet... so he is going to pick it up today. Our little Teddy Graham is going to have a bear snow suit, how cute is that!
We also had a celebration cake on Saturday to commemorate Griffin reaching 24 weeks. My mom made a yummy chocolate forest cake, which is a made from scratch chocolate cake with cherries, whipped cream, and chocolate shavings on top... We had candles that said happy day and Jeremy and I blew them out together, it was so much fun.
So that's the LONG update!
Here is my belly pic for 24 weeks
The celebration cake made by Grandma Jane
Our pretty cake with lighted candles
blowing out the candles
blowing out the candles
Saturday, October 31, 2009
23 weeks
So I am now less than a week from viability and the good news is that Griffin is measuring big, already at an estimated 1lb 7 oz and measuring at a gestational age almost a week ahead of where he is supposed to be (23 weeks 6 days on the day I turned 23 weeks)
I was supposed to see my Dr (the one who did my cerclage) but at the last minute he was not available, so I had to see a Dr I had never met before. My cervix was still measuring fairly stable at 2.6 which is good, but I REALLY wanted to ask my Dr some questions and since my Dr wasn't there I had to talk to the new guy. He seemed in a big hurry, didn't even come into the room and close the door just stood with my file at the door to talk. He told me that my cervix looked good, and said I can sit upright for longer periods of time now, and go up the stairs several times a day, and take a bit longer than 5 minutes in the shower if I want. I asked if Jeremy could take me out to dinner, but he said no, and then I asked at what point would they consider giving me steroid shots for the babies lungs. He said "oh, you haven't had those yet? I'll order them for next week"
I wanted to ask more questions but I didn't because he was too unapproachable, so I'll ask next week, but I'm wondering why I need the shots if I am not threatening to deliver right away, the shots are most effective for one week after they are given and since I don't want to get multiple rounds if I don't have to I'm not sure what to do. I need to do some research on it.
So for the last few days I've been sitting up more, which has made my feet feel like all the blood is rushing to my feet, it's funny how 1 month of not doing it very often makes feel so weird! Also when I sit up for about 1/2 hour or more I feel a pulling sensation in the sides of my belly like muscles or ligaments stretching which is pretty uncomfortable, and it has been making my back hurt too. So I've been taking it slow and plan on increasing just a bit throughout the week.
I'm still a bit nervous about increasing my activity, but it feels so good to move a little bit more towards normal. I am still taking it very easy, but I have to trust that the Drs know what they are talking about. I still wish I had been able to talk to my Dr. I really trust him to take good care of me, I hope I can see him again soon. Next week I am scheduled with the midwife.
Here are the new pcitures we got of our cute little guy at his ultrasound.
Check out my handomse profile! :) The blob you see above me is my placenta.
another cute profile picture, check out my chicken legs... lol
I was supposed to see my Dr (the one who did my cerclage) but at the last minute he was not available, so I had to see a Dr I had never met before. My cervix was still measuring fairly stable at 2.6 which is good, but I REALLY wanted to ask my Dr some questions and since my Dr wasn't there I had to talk to the new guy. He seemed in a big hurry, didn't even come into the room and close the door just stood with my file at the door to talk. He told me that my cervix looked good, and said I can sit upright for longer periods of time now, and go up the stairs several times a day, and take a bit longer than 5 minutes in the shower if I want. I asked if Jeremy could take me out to dinner, but he said no, and then I asked at what point would they consider giving me steroid shots for the babies lungs. He said "oh, you haven't had those yet? I'll order them for next week"
I wanted to ask more questions but I didn't because he was too unapproachable, so I'll ask next week, but I'm wondering why I need the shots if I am not threatening to deliver right away, the shots are most effective for one week after they are given and since I don't want to get multiple rounds if I don't have to I'm not sure what to do. I need to do some research on it.
So for the last few days I've been sitting up more, which has made my feet feel like all the blood is rushing to my feet, it's funny how 1 month of not doing it very often makes feel so weird! Also when I sit up for about 1/2 hour or more I feel a pulling sensation in the sides of my belly like muscles or ligaments stretching which is pretty uncomfortable, and it has been making my back hurt too. So I've been taking it slow and plan on increasing just a bit throughout the week.
I'm still a bit nervous about increasing my activity, but it feels so good to move a little bit more towards normal. I am still taking it very easy, but I have to trust that the Drs know what they are talking about. I still wish I had been able to talk to my Dr. I really trust him to take good care of me, I hope I can see him again soon. Next week I am scheduled with the midwife.
Here are the new pcitures we got of our cute little guy at his ultrasound.
Check out my handomse profile! :) The blob you see above me is my placenta.
another cute profile picture, check out my chicken legs... lol
look at my cute little toes :)
my creepy face picture ;)
my creepy face picture ;)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Griffin and his baby dance :)
Before I got pregnant I never wondered about what it was like being pregnant, to me it was just a way to have a baby, and I knew I wanted babies. I never really thought about what it would actually be like to have a tiny human being living and squirming in my tummy.
So here are my thoughts on the subject, now that I've lived it :)
Feeling him move is an awesome, strange, humbling, totally more than anything I ever imagined type of experience.
It is awesome, it hasn't gotten common place or normal feeling yet. It still gives me a smile, and makes me wonder at how amazing life can be. It's still one of my favorite things about being pregnant and helps me feel more connected to Griffin than anything else!
It can be strange. Sometimes it does feel like I have an alien in there ;) imagine sitting there peacefully when all of the sudden your sweet little baby gives your bladder a BIG kick, suddenly I feel a surge and have to squeeze my muscles "down there" with everything I have just to stay dry... lol aww the joys of parenthood starting already... haha. He also loves to kick off the top of my uterus and then use the momentum to head butt my cervix, it is one of the most uncomfortable things he does and sometimes he makes me jump when he does it. Sometimes he gets into a pattern and will do it over and over, so I usually end up changing position and jiggling my belly and telling him to take a chill pill, sometimes it works.... sometimes it doesn't... the little rascal! I can also feel him wiggling around, it feels like I am feeling him snuggle deeper under his covers at bedtime, settling in for the night. Jeremy and I can feel his stronger kicks with a hand rested on my belly. Jeremy says it feels like there is a balloon in there and someone is blowing half a breath into it and then letting it rush back out...lol. I can also tell when he is awake and asleep which is so weird!
It's also humbling, when I think there is really actually another human being inside of my body. And he is not just any human being, he is our son, he is part Jeremy and part me, he is our son! when I realize that I am giving our son a warm safe place to grow it makes me so happy. It is unbelievable that God has given us this ability to nurture and grow our children I feel so blessed!
It's more than I ever imagined and I'm so happy to be Griffin's mommy!
So here are my thoughts on the subject, now that I've lived it :)
Feeling him move is an awesome, strange, humbling, totally more than anything I ever imagined type of experience.
It is awesome, it hasn't gotten common place or normal feeling yet. It still gives me a smile, and makes me wonder at how amazing life can be. It's still one of my favorite things about being pregnant and helps me feel more connected to Griffin than anything else!
It can be strange. Sometimes it does feel like I have an alien in there ;) imagine sitting there peacefully when all of the sudden your sweet little baby gives your bladder a BIG kick, suddenly I feel a surge and have to squeeze my muscles "down there" with everything I have just to stay dry... lol aww the joys of parenthood starting already... haha. He also loves to kick off the top of my uterus and then use the momentum to head butt my cervix, it is one of the most uncomfortable things he does and sometimes he makes me jump when he does it. Sometimes he gets into a pattern and will do it over and over, so I usually end up changing position and jiggling my belly and telling him to take a chill pill, sometimes it works.... sometimes it doesn't... the little rascal! I can also feel him wiggling around, it feels like I am feeling him snuggle deeper under his covers at bedtime, settling in for the night. Jeremy and I can feel his stronger kicks with a hand rested on my belly. Jeremy says it feels like there is a balloon in there and someone is blowing half a breath into it and then letting it rush back out...lol. I can also tell when he is awake and asleep which is so weird!
It's also humbling, when I think there is really actually another human being inside of my body. And he is not just any human being, he is our son, he is part Jeremy and part me, he is our son! when I realize that I am giving our son a warm safe place to grow it makes me so happy. It is unbelievable that God has given us this ability to nurture and grow our children I feel so blessed!
It's more than I ever imagined and I'm so happy to be Griffin's mommy!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A correction
I accidentally gave my blog yesterday the title of 23 weeks 4 days (subconscious wishful thinking) when I was only actually only 21 weeks 4 days.
Just thought I would let everyone know... but I'll get there eventually
Just thought I would let everyone know... but I'll get there eventually
Monday, October 19, 2009
21 weeks + 4 days today
So things are calm right now which is awesome. I am just over two weeks out from having the cerclage and things are still stable which is also a REALLY good sign.
Griffin is kicking harder everyday and it is so much fun. He is such a wiggler. I've been told this means he will be a really active baby. I wonder if that's true? Jeremy and I are both calm laid back people, it would sure be interesting if Griffin ended up being a hyperactive little guy!
Just a warning I am going to complain: Bed rest is hard. You might think it would be fun and relaxing to lay around all day and have people serve you (we are staying with my mom right now so she makes me food and brings me everything I need) but really think about it. I can't just get up whenever I want, I can't just go grab a snack when I get hungry, I have to call someone to do it. I don't get to go out shopping or to the movies right now. And believe it or not being on bed rest makes you very tired. My body is stiff and my muscles are also stiff and tired a lot more than usual. The other really big thing is that it is lonely. When I want some human contact I can't just go see what everyone is up to, people have to come to me, and I don't have much to offer in the way of excitement so yep, it can get a bit lonely.
Now that my complaints are out of my system I also have to say that I am so glad to be doing this for my little boy. I will and would do ANYTHING to get Griffin here safely. Everyday I go to bed and thank God that Griffin and I made it through the day safe and together, and every morning I thank God for getting us through another night. Everyday is a blessing and I cherish every moment with this little one.
That said I have to admit how scary this still is for me. I obviously have good days and bad, and like I've said before I feel good knowing that the Drs know what the problem is and that everything is being done to keep Griffin safe. Still when I lay in bed at night wondering what the next day will hold I worry. I'm so close to viability and yet I'm still not there yet, I just want to be past 24 weeks where I know this little boy has a chance at life. I'm hanging in there and trying everyday to be strong and positive for Griffins sake.
I also want to say that I am so grateful for my family and friends. I love your comments on facebook and e-mails with encouragement, every word means so much to me!
And I have to say a special thank you to my mom who has been my cheerleader throughout this whole pregnancy. She is the one who supported me with doing everything possible to get this baby here safely. She helped me clean my house and cooked me food and took care of me throughout my morning sickness. She's been the one who is mostly taking care of me on bed rest too. I LOVE her so much and appreciate how much a mother loves her child with a new appreciation. so THANK YOU SOOOOOO much mom. You are AWESOME!!!
I also want to say a special thank you to my wonderful husband Jeremy! He is my shoulder to cry on and the one who keeps me sane throughout this. He never complains when I need help with something or even when I want something I don't REALLY need, like my nightly foot rub ;) He is the one that can put a smile on my face and make me laugh even when I am feeling sorry for myself and the one who lights up my life. He already takes such good care of Griffin so I know he will be an awesome dad and I am so happy and proud to call him my husband!
So that's the update, we are still trucking along and hoping to make it as far as possible!
Griffin is kicking harder everyday and it is so much fun. He is such a wiggler. I've been told this means he will be a really active baby. I wonder if that's true? Jeremy and I are both calm laid back people, it would sure be interesting if Griffin ended up being a hyperactive little guy!
Just a warning I am going to complain: Bed rest is hard. You might think it would be fun and relaxing to lay around all day and have people serve you (we are staying with my mom right now so she makes me food and brings me everything I need) but really think about it. I can't just get up whenever I want, I can't just go grab a snack when I get hungry, I have to call someone to do it. I don't get to go out shopping or to the movies right now. And believe it or not being on bed rest makes you very tired. My body is stiff and my muscles are also stiff and tired a lot more than usual. The other really big thing is that it is lonely. When I want some human contact I can't just go see what everyone is up to, people have to come to me, and I don't have much to offer in the way of excitement so yep, it can get a bit lonely.
Now that my complaints are out of my system I also have to say that I am so glad to be doing this for my little boy. I will and would do ANYTHING to get Griffin here safely. Everyday I go to bed and thank God that Griffin and I made it through the day safe and together, and every morning I thank God for getting us through another night. Everyday is a blessing and I cherish every moment with this little one.
That said I have to admit how scary this still is for me. I obviously have good days and bad, and like I've said before I feel good knowing that the Drs know what the problem is and that everything is being done to keep Griffin safe. Still when I lay in bed at night wondering what the next day will hold I worry. I'm so close to viability and yet I'm still not there yet, I just want to be past 24 weeks where I know this little boy has a chance at life. I'm hanging in there and trying everyday to be strong and positive for Griffins sake.
I also want to say that I am so grateful for my family and friends. I love your comments on facebook and e-mails with encouragement, every word means so much to me!
And I have to say a special thank you to my mom who has been my cheerleader throughout this whole pregnancy. She is the one who supported me with doing everything possible to get this baby here safely. She helped me clean my house and cooked me food and took care of me throughout my morning sickness. She's been the one who is mostly taking care of me on bed rest too. I LOVE her so much and appreciate how much a mother loves her child with a new appreciation. so THANK YOU SOOOOOO much mom. You are AWESOME!!!
I also want to say a special thank you to my wonderful husband Jeremy! He is my shoulder to cry on and the one who keeps me sane throughout this. He never complains when I need help with something or even when I want something I don't REALLY need, like my nightly foot rub ;) He is the one that can put a smile on my face and make me laugh even when I am feeling sorry for myself and the one who lights up my life. He already takes such good care of Griffin so I know he will be an awesome dad and I am so happy and proud to call him my husband!
So that's the update, we are still trucking along and hoping to make it as far as possible!
Friday, October 9, 2009
20 weeks
Yesterday I was 20 weeks... that's halfway to full term!
Our dr apt went well today. I am now allowed to sit up to eat & sit in a recliner during the day. So I can at least leave the bed for a while. The dr says if all is looking good in two weeks he'll give me even more privileges, like maybe walking upstairs to the kitchen to help cook as long as I am sitting down
During the ultrasound today my cervix was an excellent length 3.8cm and the ultrasound tech called Teddy Graham a crazy boy cause as usual he was giving her a hard time and wiggling around! He is such a ham ;)
in other news: today was the first time Jeremy felt Griffin move with his hand on my tummy! I think it freaked him out a bit at first cause he jerked his hand away and said "are you sure I'm not squishing him?" lol but it was wonderful and we were both so excited!!!!!
Our dr apt went well today. I am now allowed to sit up to eat & sit in a recliner during the day. So I can at least leave the bed for a while. The dr says if all is looking good in two weeks he'll give me even more privileges, like maybe walking upstairs to the kitchen to help cook as long as I am sitting down
During the ultrasound today my cervix was an excellent length 3.8cm and the ultrasound tech called Teddy Graham a crazy boy cause as usual he was giving her a hard time and wiggling around! He is such a ham ;)
in other news: today was the first time Jeremy felt Griffin move with his hand on my tummy! I think it freaked him out a bit at first cause he jerked his hand away and said "are you sure I'm not squishing him?" lol but it was wonderful and we were both so excited!!!!!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Pictures from the hospital
my favorite thing to eat in the hospital :)
The room I spent my time in
Jeremy giving Griffin a hello
Griffin and I hanging in there.
The room I spent my time in
Jeremy giving Griffin a hello
Griffin and I hanging in there.
home from the hospital
So yesterday I was sent home from the hospital. I'm SOOO happy to be sleeping in my own bed, and SOOOO glad that everything seems to be calm and stable.
The emergency cerclage was done on Saturday and because my cervix was only dilating and not really shortening the Dr was able to get the stitch in 2.5 cm up from the bottom of my cervix which he said is really good. They rechecked my cervix on Monday morning it measured 3 cm so it was closed .5 cm above the stitch which the Dr seemed to be pleased with, and then they re-checked it yesterday afternoon one more time before they discharged me, and it was 3.5 cm so EVEN BETTER!!! Hurray!
I am so glad that the stitch seems to be doing it's job and that my cervix has calmed down and decided to behave better.
I've been feeling baby boy moving a lot stronger in the last week and last night was the first time I felt him nudge so strong I felt it with my hand on top of my belly. I thank God every moment he is still safe, and that we made it through this. Now we just hope and pray he stays put long enough.The Dr told me that it is unlikely I'll make it to full term and I should just take every week as a blessing, he went over all of the preemie survival and disability stats with me too. Right now I'd be ok with him going to the NICU as long as he comes home happy and healthy, I just hope he doesn't have to.
The only thing that is still a bit of a worry is that my C reactive protein (indicates inflammation) is still too high. The Dr almost kept me in the hospital longer because of it, but since everything else looks good and I haven't shown ANY signs of infection since arrival, and since I'd had zero contractions since entering the hospital he decided to send me home on an anti-inflammatory pill twice a day for a week and then once a day for a week and we'll see how I do.
They sent me home on complete bedrest, only up for bathroom and one short shower a day. It's gonna be hard because my bones are already stiff and sore from the last 4 days, but I'll do it. I've been trying to move around my feet and legs and arms when I can to keep blood flowing but it's my back that is sore.
My next appointment is this Friday, they will check my cervix again and give me my progesterone shot. I'll be seeing the Dr once a week for the next bit until they decide I have stabilized.
For some reason I just have this feeling like everything is going to be ok, and that I'm going to hold this baby in my arms alive and healthy. I hope that my hope and optimism transfer to the little one and do some good. One thing I can say is this one is a fighter! He is so active and took no trouble from anyone. He gave everyone a hard time at the hospital, every time the nurses tried to find his heartbeat they had to chase him, cause he was running around all over my belly playing hide and seek, and even the ultrasound techs were having to chase him. The other REALLY funny thing is that after the tech told us he was a boy, a few minutes later the tech started laughing and when we asked why he said because the baby was playing with his boy parts, he zoomed in and there he was holding onto it like it was a joystick lol. I think I'm going to have a real goofball on my hands and I can't wait to meet him.
We also gave him his official name a few days ago. It is a bit of a tribute to Gabriel. It starts with a G too and it is one of the names we were seriously considering for Gabriel until he became our Angel baby and then we really wanted him to have an angel name. So Teddy Graham's official name is Griffin :) We really like it. A griffin is a mythological creature that is part lion (king of the forest = courage) and part eagle (king of the air = speed) we thought it was SOOO fitting. We haven't decided totally on spelling yet but we'll work it out soon enough.
Thanks again for the support and prayers, I'll be sure to keep the blog updated on our progress.
The emergency cerclage was done on Saturday and because my cervix was only dilating and not really shortening the Dr was able to get the stitch in 2.5 cm up from the bottom of my cervix which he said is really good. They rechecked my cervix on Monday morning it measured 3 cm so it was closed .5 cm above the stitch which the Dr seemed to be pleased with, and then they re-checked it yesterday afternoon one more time before they discharged me, and it was 3.5 cm so EVEN BETTER!!! Hurray!
I am so glad that the stitch seems to be doing it's job and that my cervix has calmed down and decided to behave better.
I've been feeling baby boy moving a lot stronger in the last week and last night was the first time I felt him nudge so strong I felt it with my hand on top of my belly. I thank God every moment he is still safe, and that we made it through this. Now we just hope and pray he stays put long enough.The Dr told me that it is unlikely I'll make it to full term and I should just take every week as a blessing, he went over all of the preemie survival and disability stats with me too. Right now I'd be ok with him going to the NICU as long as he comes home happy and healthy, I just hope he doesn't have to.
The only thing that is still a bit of a worry is that my C reactive protein (indicates inflammation) is still too high. The Dr almost kept me in the hospital longer because of it, but since everything else looks good and I haven't shown ANY signs of infection since arrival, and since I'd had zero contractions since entering the hospital he decided to send me home on an anti-inflammatory pill twice a day for a week and then once a day for a week and we'll see how I do.
They sent me home on complete bedrest, only up for bathroom and one short shower a day. It's gonna be hard because my bones are already stiff and sore from the last 4 days, but I'll do it. I've been trying to move around my feet and legs and arms when I can to keep blood flowing but it's my back that is sore.
My next appointment is this Friday, they will check my cervix again and give me my progesterone shot. I'll be seeing the Dr once a week for the next bit until they decide I have stabilized.
For some reason I just have this feeling like everything is going to be ok, and that I'm going to hold this baby in my arms alive and healthy. I hope that my hope and optimism transfer to the little one and do some good. One thing I can say is this one is a fighter! He is so active and took no trouble from anyone. He gave everyone a hard time at the hospital, every time the nurses tried to find his heartbeat they had to chase him, cause he was running around all over my belly playing hide and seek, and even the ultrasound techs were having to chase him. The other REALLY funny thing is that after the tech told us he was a boy, a few minutes later the tech started laughing and when we asked why he said because the baby was playing with his boy parts, he zoomed in and there he was holding onto it like it was a joystick lol. I think I'm going to have a real goofball on my hands and I can't wait to meet him.
We also gave him his official name a few days ago. It is a bit of a tribute to Gabriel. It starts with a G too and it is one of the names we were seriously considering for Gabriel until he became our Angel baby and then we really wanted him to have an angel name. So Teddy Graham's official name is Griffin :) We really like it. A griffin is a mythological creature that is part lion (king of the forest = courage) and part eagle (king of the air = speed) we thought it was SOOO fitting. We haven't decided totally on spelling yet but we'll work it out soon enough.
Thanks again for the support and prayers, I'll be sure to keep the blog updated on our progress.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
The day after the cerclage
Thank you so much for the encouragement and prayers.
Teddy Graham and I are still alive and hopefully on the road to recovery. I was very groggy and out of it yesterday, but at least I got a good sleep last night.
Yesterday was pretty awful. I was soooo worried that any moment my water would break, or something else bad would happen. I held on to hope with all of my strength and Teddy Graham and I are still here!
The cerclage was not fun. They tried to do a spinal (same thing they would do as for c-section) and they couldn't get it in. It was SOOO painful, because she kept missing, they tried for about 15 minutes and then gave up and just knocked me completely out. So I don't remember anything until I woke up.
The Dr said it went well my water bag is still in tact THANK GOD!!! when he got in there he said my cervix was still long enough to get in a good stitch (I'll have to ask for numbers) and he felt the surgery went well. after I woke up I was having severe cramping, which hurt REALLY bad but apparently was not contractions so that is good, and I haven't had any contractions since I got here so that's also a good sign. I bled from the procedure yesterday and through the night it tapered off, this morning it's almost gone so they tell me that's good too.
The plan is I'll be in the hospital for a few more days and if everything goes well they will send me home on complete bed rest. They will wait a week and then do another ultrasound to check my cervix, if it's looking good and the stitch is holding they will let me sit up a bit during the week and then recheck. eventually he hopes to have me on modified bed rest but it all depends on how my cervix behaves.
I feel better about getting up to go to the bathroom today knowing how well they got the stitch in and that everything is being held in place and I'm aloud to incline the head of the bed just a little bit. I also might get to have a very quick shower today.
The biggest worry right now is whether or not I had a pre-exsting infection. The dr would not have done the surgery if he felt it was a likely possibility, so he thinks I probably don't, but there still is a chance.
Right now I feel like I have hope, this might sound crazy but knowing what is wrong and why I lost Gabriel, knowing that there is something proactive I can do next time to prevent this makes me feel a little better. It makes me feel like everything just might be ok. Yes it sucks that I have an incompetent cervix, my dumb body is the one not functioning and my babies have to pay the price, but at least there is something they can do.
As much as yesterday was hard emotionally, physically painful, stressful and scary, I would do it over and over again if I had to. I will fight for the life of this baby, he will not leave me without a fight.
Teddy Graham and I are still alive and hopefully on the road to recovery. I was very groggy and out of it yesterday, but at least I got a good sleep last night.
Yesterday was pretty awful. I was soooo worried that any moment my water would break, or something else bad would happen. I held on to hope with all of my strength and Teddy Graham and I are still here!
The cerclage was not fun. They tried to do a spinal (same thing they would do as for c-section) and they couldn't get it in. It was SOOO painful, because she kept missing, they tried for about 15 minutes and then gave up and just knocked me completely out. So I don't remember anything until I woke up.
The Dr said it went well my water bag is still in tact THANK GOD!!! when he got in there he said my cervix was still long enough to get in a good stitch (I'll have to ask for numbers) and he felt the surgery went well. after I woke up I was having severe cramping, which hurt REALLY bad but apparently was not contractions so that is good, and I haven't had any contractions since I got here so that's also a good sign. I bled from the procedure yesterday and through the night it tapered off, this morning it's almost gone so they tell me that's good too.
The plan is I'll be in the hospital for a few more days and if everything goes well they will send me home on complete bed rest. They will wait a week and then do another ultrasound to check my cervix, if it's looking good and the stitch is holding they will let me sit up a bit during the week and then recheck. eventually he hopes to have me on modified bed rest but it all depends on how my cervix behaves.
I feel better about getting up to go to the bathroom today knowing how well they got the stitch in and that everything is being held in place and I'm aloud to incline the head of the bed just a little bit. I also might get to have a very quick shower today.
The biggest worry right now is whether or not I had a pre-exsting infection. The dr would not have done the surgery if he felt it was a likely possibility, so he thinks I probably don't, but there still is a chance.
Right now I feel like I have hope, this might sound crazy but knowing what is wrong and why I lost Gabriel, knowing that there is something proactive I can do next time to prevent this makes me feel a little better. It makes me feel like everything just might be ok. Yes it sucks that I have an incompetent cervix, my dumb body is the one not functioning and my babies have to pay the price, but at least there is something they can do.
As much as yesterday was hard emotionally, physically painful, stressful and scary, I would do it over and over again if I had to. I will fight for the life of this baby, he will not leave me without a fight.
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