Monday, October 19, 2009

21 weeks + 4 days today

So things are calm right now which is awesome. I am just over two weeks out from having the cerclage and things are still stable which is also a REALLY good sign.

Griffin is kicking harder everyday and it is so much fun. He is such a wiggler. I've been told this means he will be a really active baby. I wonder if that's true? Jeremy and I are both calm laid back people, it would sure be interesting if Griffin ended up being a hyperactive little guy!

Just a warning I am going to complain: Bed rest is hard. You might think it would be fun and relaxing to lay around all day and have people serve you (we are staying with my mom right now so she makes me food and brings me everything I need) but really think about it. I can't just get up whenever I want, I can't just go grab a snack when I get hungry, I have to call someone to do it. I don't get to go out shopping or to the movies right now. And believe it or not being on bed rest makes you very tired. My body is stiff and my muscles are also stiff and tired a lot more than usual. The other really big thing is that it is lonely. When I want some human contact I can't just go see what everyone is up to, people have to come to me, and I don't have much to offer in the way of excitement so yep, it can get a bit lonely.

Now that my complaints are out of my system I also have to say that I am so glad to be doing this for my little boy. I will and would do ANYTHING to get Griffin here safely. Everyday I go to bed and thank God that Griffin and I made it through the day safe and together, and every morning I thank God for getting us through another night. Everyday is a blessing and I cherish every moment with this little one.

That said I have to admit how scary this still is for me. I obviously have good days and bad, and like I've said before I feel good knowing that the Drs know what the problem is and that everything is being done to keep Griffin safe. Still when I lay in bed at night wondering what the next day will hold I worry. I'm so close to viability and yet I'm still not there yet, I just want to be past 24 weeks where I know this little boy has a chance at life. I'm hanging in there and trying everyday to be strong and positive for Griffins sake.

I also want to say that I am so grateful for my family and friends. I love your comments on facebook and e-mails with encouragement, every word means so much to me!

And I have to say a special thank you to my mom who has been my cheerleader throughout this whole pregnancy. She is the one who supported me with doing everything possible to get this baby here safely. She helped me clean my house and cooked me food and took care of me throughout my morning sickness. She's been the one who is mostly taking care of me on bed rest too. I LOVE her so much and appreciate how much a mother loves her child with a new appreciation. so THANK YOU SOOOOOO much mom. You are AWESOME!!!

I also want to say a special thank you to my wonderful husband Jeremy! He is my shoulder to cry on and the one who keeps me sane throughout this. He never complains when I need help with something or even when I want something I don't REALLY need, like my nightly foot rub ;) He is the one that can put a smile on my face and make me laugh even when I am feeling sorry for myself and the one who lights up my life. He already takes such good care of Griffin so I know he will be an awesome dad and I am so happy and proud to call him my husband!

So that's the update, we are still trucking along and hoping to make it as far as possible!


Jeremy said...

Just trying to keep up with you Love. You have been through so much for our little Griffin already that I am so proud of you! Any little thing I can do to keep you as comfy and happy as possible while we go through this together is time very well spent in my opinion. Love you SO MUCH!


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