17 weeks

So here I am at 17 weeks, now officially more pregnant than I've ever been and to be honest I am very happy and excited to be here. I feel like I'm on the verge of experiencing so many new and wonderful things and I can't wait.

I was talking to Jeremy this morning about what it actually feels like to be pregnant, something that I never gave much thought to before it happened to me last year. It is very strange. My body doesn't truly feel like it's mine anymore, weird things happen to me that I have no control over. It's not necessarily a bad thing, some of it is uncomfortable, but some of it is amazingly wonderful, like feeling the baby move and watching my belly growing knowing that it's because Teddy graham is getting bigger too. To be honest I hate the physical parts of being pregnant right now, like my dry throat every evening, the aches and pains that come along with this, the food aversions, and the nausea that still pops up from time to time, but I wouldn't trade this in for the world because the awesome part, the amazing part is that I am caring for a human life in my tummy. I am protecting the child that Jeremy and I made because we love each other and wanted the chance to share our love with a new member in our family. The connection I feel to this baby is so special, it really does feel magical sometimes. I thank God for the opportunity he has given me to nurture and care for Teddy Graham and I truly cherish every moment.

This week Teddy Graham is starting to be able to hear things outside the womb, I read that if there is a loud noise the baby will jump. So I've started talking out loud a lot more to the baby and I've been singing to the baby, mostly while I'm in the shower and no one is listening ;) and for his part every night before we go to bed Jeremy has started the tradition of reading a bedtime story to Teddy Graham. Baby is also getting bigger at almost 5 inches and starts to put on some fat this week.

I've got lots of symptoms to report on this week;

The dry throat and mouth is still happening in the evenings, but we've been keeping the humidifier running all day and it seems to help some.

This past week I've started to feel my uterus more, and what I mean by that is I feel something heavy and just "there" in my lower abdomen. Sometimes it feels a bit uncomfortable which I'm sure is the ligaments stretching, and yesterday when I was walking around it felt like I could feel my uterus bouncing with each step, but if I put my hand on my lower abdomen kind of firmly while I walked the feeling went away, so weird huh?

Also the last two weeks have been stretchy weeks for me which basically means I've been feeling like my abdomen is tighter and my insides are trying to find new places to situate themselves. It's crazy because right now it is actually painful to yawn because it feels like there is not enough room for my breath to go, and it feels like it is stretching my tummy too much and it might just burst form all the extra air.

I've also been getting some heart palpitations. I'm going to ask the dr about it because it freaks me out a bit. It doesn't happen every day but a few times this week and I do not like how it feels at all. I wonder if it is normal during pregnancy. Also if I stand up to fast from a laying down position I get a head rush, and I can feel the blood pounding in my head, so I've been having to make a conscious effort to take things a little slower. I know my body is making extra blood because of the pregnancy and I can sure tell because my veins are just getting more and more pronounced.

Speaking of veins, remember the bruise on my hand from the ER and how I re-bruised it on the doorknob last week, well this week I re-bruised it again by hitting it on the wall on my way out our door into the garage, Jeremy told me I need to strap a pillow to my wrist if I ever want it to heal lol. Despite the many set backs the bruise is much smaller and I'm hoping it will be gone by next week.

Teddy Graham has still been wiggling around in my tummy. I still don't feel him everyday but more days than not I do. One day this last week I hadn't felt him all day and I was sitting at my desk by my computer when I sneezed and then suddenly there he was kicking me. I thought that was so funny, either he was saying "hey I was sleeping in here, cut it out" or he was saying "that was fun do it again!" . Also yesterday the baby was VERY active, I felt him on 4 separate occasions and the last one was the best. Most of the time it feels very light like a butterfly in my tummy, or kind of like a quivering sort of feeling, but the last one yesterday REALLY felt like kicks, it was like 4-5 pokes to the left side of my tummy right in a row. I was reading a book and it almost made me drop it, but it was AWESOME!

Other than that nothing else new, we are just taking everyday as it comes and praying for many more (23 weeks more) of Teddy Graham in my tummy :)

Here is my 17 week tummy picture

16 weeks + 3 days

Today I am the same gestational age in this pregnancy as when Gabriel died last year. It is a day of mixed emotions for me I'm sad and hopeful. I miss my first born and even though it has been a year, the pain of loosing him is still there. I am also happy that this pregnancy has been different, so far everything is going wonderfully and the baby is doing fine, still has amniotic fluid and nothing is wrong.

One interesting thing about being in my particular situation is that I know exactly what a 16 week old fetus looks like. I delivered my little Gabriel and then we were able to hold him and say our goodbyes in our own time. I can picture exactly what this baby in my tummy looks like now and would feel like right now.

When Gabriel was born he was 8 inches from head to feet, his little hands and feet were perfect and he even had well formed nails on each of his tiny digits. I know what it felt like to have his tiny hand curl around mine. You could see his Jeremy and I both in his face. He was a perfectly formed tiny human being.

I'm trying to focus on the positive today and even as I miss my first little boy I am trying to remember the joy he brought me. I've been loving Teddy Graham with everything I have since the moment I found out I was pregnant and will continue let my love grow and to cherish every second because I know just how precious the life that I am carrying is.

My precious son, you left an imprint in our hearts that can never be replaced. We will hold you in our hearts until we meet again...

16 weeks

Sorry I haven't been keeping up on my posts as well as I should. Today will be an update on 16 weeks and my Dr appointment last week Friday at 15 weeks.

So first for the update from my Dr appointment last Friday. The Appointment went well, my cervix is still looking good, we saw the baby on the ultrasound wiggling around, and the biggest news (most of you have probably already heard this) the Dr thinks it's a boy! She is not 100% since we go to a medicaid clinic the ultrasound machine is VERY low quality. We will be getting our anatomy scan with a much better machine at 20 weeks so then we should know the gender for sure as long as the baby cooperates.

Here are the pictures we got from our ultrasound last week.

Now an update on how we are doing this week.

Funny thing is that Teddy Graham has been so uncooperative this week. Jeremy and I attempt to listen to his heartbeat once a day and lately he will not hold still, as soon as we find him, we hear an almost shuffling noise and then he moves and the heartbeat fades away, if we want to listen more we have to search to find him again. I think he is really active, I'm still feeling him move, not everyday, but then some days I feel it more than once. I think it is so much fun and I can't wait until he is big enough for other people to feel him too!

One really strange thing that has been happening to me all week is that every evening around 8:00 pm my throat starts getting REALLY dry. I get so thirsty, and it's not for lack of drinking, cause I have been doing really good lately about drinking water throughout the day. Then when I go to sleep it gets worse and will actually wake me up. I feel like I've been walking in a desert all day. I've been drinking lots of water throughout the night to help my dry mouth and throat but now it's also making me have to get up WAY to much to pee, Some nights I get up 10-15 times. we bought a humidifier to put in the room, but it has only helped a bit. Funny thing is that this only happens at night, I don't feel like this during the day, and by the time I wake up in the morning I feel normal again, but all night I feel as if I am dehydrated! so weird, I'm going to have to ask the Dr about this one, cause it's kind of rough and I wonder what's going on.

another interesting thing that has become very noticeable this week is my veins, the are getting more prominent everywhere, my chest and even my feet now have much more noticeable veins, so interesting!

I'm so glad to be over the cold I had and to have had no other serious issues this week! No trips to the ER hurray!!!!!

By this time next week I'll be more pregnant than I've ever been. I'm about to embark into uncharted waters, I'm excited and nervous. Hoping and praying for the best, and I'm so glad that I'm growing Teddy Graham and I have Jeremy to support me along the way!

Here is a fun comparison I thought I would share. 12 weeks vs 16 weeks sitting down tummy... grown a bit huh?

Also if you read my post about the ER visit from last week you know I had a very bad IV experience. This week the bruise is still there, but I also went to the bathroom in the middle of the night the other day and didn't realise the bathroom door was closed so I smacked right into it with my forehead and smashed my hand into the doorknob and rebruised it, the fresh bruise is the pinker part near the bottom and the older bruise that is darker is still from the ER... fun huh?

Felt Teddy Graham Moving!!!

Yesterday I was lounging in my mom's bed watching wife swap with Tiffany. I was eating superlink casserole. Suddenly I felt a very noticeable tapping/fluttering feeling in my lower abdomen. It made me stop in my tracks and get a big smile on my face, I put down my food and shifted around to see if I would still feel it and sure enough it came back after I stopped moving. It went on for about 5 minutes on and off and it was sooo cool. I hope I feel it again soon, I love it when Teddy Graham lets me know he/she is doing well and says hi :)

I called Jeremy at work and told him, and after exclaimed how cool it was he said "enjoy it while you can because soon Teddy will be bouncing on your bladder and it might not be so much fun." I don't know because I have never felt a big baby moving before but I hope it's not too uncomfortable.

It was such a happy moment but also bittersweet because it reminded me of the one time I felt Gabriel moving before my water broke... I miss him and wish he were still here with us. Even though he's not with us right now, I know I'll see him again and I'm so glad his little sister/brother is doing well.

So Here I am at 15 weeks. This has been a HARD one. I'm glad to be at the begining of a new week (in the pregnancy) and hope this one goes smoother than the last few. Let me just say that being sick is SOOOO not fun, and it's worse when you're pregnant because you can't take the medication you normally would, you're worried about the baby, and your immune system is not as strong as it would normally be so you stay sick longer!

The sore throat continued to be a struggle for most of the week. I lost alot of sleep because the pain of swallowing in my sleep would actually wake me up and then I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. I finally called my OB and went in to be tested for strep throat. It came back negative so I was basically given some over the counter medications I could use and told to rest and wait for my body to fight off the Virus. One of the meds I got was a throat spray that was supposed to numb your throat, but it didn't go well, the second I sprayed it in my throat I knew it was bad idea, and out came all of my lunch UGHH.

Well finally my throat statred feeling better. Yesterday my throat was actually feeling pretty much normal. Something funny about being sick for so long is that, I would swallow and still be waiting for the pain, and then I'd be like ahhh I'm better now, big grin. It's wierd when swallowing without pain is wierd to you lol

Anyway, just when things were looking up they went downhill again. I had been dealing with some pretty bad diarrhea since tuesday. Then yesterday morning when I woke up I ran to the toilet with the runs again, half an hour of clutching my tummy in pain from the cramps and letting it all out ;) I felt a bit better. Jeremy woke up and got me some cereal, while I was eating pain in my upper abdomen started. Kept getting worse. I thought maybe its gas, so I took two gas x and laid down for about an hour. By the end of the hour the pain had only gotten worse and I was in tears. I know I got my gall bladder out, but it totally felt like a gall bladder atack.

I put a call into my OB and they told me to go to the ER. So when we got there they took my info. I told them I was only 14 wks + 6 days pregnant but my last menstral period was April 27 (I have polycystic ovary syndrome so you can't always predict my ovulation based on that for me) then a nurse came and got me, took me back to a room and took blood pressure ect, then someone came with a wheelchair and told me they were taking me up to labor and delivery to be checked out.

So they take me up there and have me get undressed ect, then leave me in the room for about 15 minutes, then a nurse comes in and says, sorry we have too take you back down to ER because youre not far enough along to be up here.

Apparently they didnt listen to me and looked at my last period date to determine how far along I was instead of listening to how many weeks I told them I was. So they take me back down to the Er.

Finally the ER Dr comes in to see me, he asks me questions and says they are going to do some labs and go from there. He said right away that my symptoms seem to be stomach and bowel related not baby related so I felt a bit better.

A few minutes later someone came in to draw blood and start an IV. I asked if they really needed to start an IV and he said that they always do it when they draw blood just in case. Ok... so he tries on my right arm near the crease by my elbow, and couldnt get the vein, dug around for a few minutes, nothing. Pretty uncomfortable but I was handling it. So he pulls it out and gets another needle, now he goes for the back of my right hand…. OUCH it felt like bee sting when he stuck it in there and again, he couldnt find the vein. Kept digging with me writhing in pain and saying ouch, ouch, ouch and eventually I started to cry… I couldnt help myself, it hurt so bad! I finally said PLEASE STOP, youre hurting me. So he finally pulled out the needle, and then my vein blew and my hand started getting this throbbing knot the size of a quarter and about 3/4 inches tall on it.

All this time he has said NOTHING! Not Im sorry Im hurting you, are you ok, nothing. So now Im thinking who is this guy and I glance at his name badge… and guess what it says? It says student paramedic!?!?! WHAT? No one told me he was a student or asked me if it would be ok for him to do this. I was so mad. He didnt even say anything about my hand and what was happening he just got up and started to walk out of the room. I had to stop him and say, is this normal for my hand to be swelling up like this? He said oh dont worry your vein just blew… So I said ok, now what. He said I'll go get your nurse.

I just bust into tears when he left. I was still in pain in my tummy, and this guys comes in and adds to my pain and injuries. I know they have to learn on someone, I just wish I had been told and given the opportunity to choose. I really hate needles and I would have preferred someone who knew what they were doing. Anyway, after that a new person (not a student) comes in to draw blood and put in the IV she did it on the first try with my other arm within 30 seconds. SO much better!

Then we basically waited about 1 1/2 hours for labs. By then I was feeling much better and wishing I had just stayed home. They came back and told me everything looked fine and they dont know why I was having pain. So they sent me home. I still don't have any clue what the pain was all about but I'm just glad it is GONE! I know Teddy Graham is still doing fine because his/her heartbeat is nice and strong on my doppler and no bleeding or cramping in my lower abdomen, but still yesterday was a rough day!

Other than that nothing too much new this week, I have just been trying to get better and rest as much as possible. Here's hoping for a healthier week with no pain or dramma.

right at the end of 15 weeks is when my water broke with Gabriel, so I'm a bit nervous this week. Please keep hoping and praying with Jeremy and I that this baby will be strong and healthy, have a strong and healthy amniotic sack and that this little one will make it home with us!

So here are my pics this week, my tummy continues to grow... I know some people worry about getting bigger while pregnant and gaining weight ect, but I just love the fact that my tummy getting bigger means the baby is getting bigger... HURRAY little Teddy Graham is growing leaps and bounds and is already about 4.5 inches from head to butt, then add arms and legs :) how quickly they grow ;)



Bare tummy pics... getting a bit rounder :)