31 Weeks

So I have finally made it to 31 weeks. Griffin now weighs about 3.5 - 4 lbs. He now has about a 98% chance of survival if born. We have come so far and I am thankful for so much!

When I got the cerclage I wondered every single day, if he would make it far enough to have a chance at life. Now it is amazing and wonderful that we are where we are. We made it past Christmas, and he is still in my belly :) I have really tired to take one day at a time, and sometimes it is so unbelievable how far we have come, and I still haven't given up hope to make it farther. I know Griffin and I can do this, we just have to hang on a little bit longer to give him a good chance at avoiding the NICU.

Things have been going pretty smoothly lately. It seems like the meds they have me on for contractions are working because I have been having less and less, and for the last few days, not even anything worth keeping track of! It's awesome to go from 15-20 a day now, down to basically none, I love it!

So something I haven't talked about in a while are my pregnancy symptoms hehe, always fun to complain

I can tell that Griffin is getting heavier because wow, I feel it. Sometimes when I stand up (which is not very often!) I feel like there is a bowling ball sitting in my tummy. Such a weird and uncomfortable feeling! My tummy is also growing at quite a good pace now, because in the last bit of pregnancy the baby's main job is putting on weight, so he is getting bigger with each passing day and I can tell for sure! Right now he is gaining about a 1/2 lb a week. Here is a picture showing just 2 weeks of growth :)

It's funny because I have sort of forgotten what it feels like to not have the huge bowling ball in my tummy, what's it like to look down and be able to see my feet? I have no CLUE!?! It's so funny. I was talking to Jeremy this morning about how my whole pregnancy I have been excited about my growing belly, and always ask him about how big it looks, and when he tells me it looks huge, it makes me happy cause I wanted the big baby belly, and because every time my tummy gets bigger it means Griffin is getting bigger, but now as I am getting closer to when he will be born, and I think about loosing the weight and trying to look like myself again, I told him after the baby is born, instead of needing reassurance about how big I am getting he is going to have to switch gears and tell me, about how much smaller I look. I wonder how long it will take to look "normal" again.

The aches and pains have definitely gotten worse. early in the pregnancy I didn't have too much trouble with back pain but that has kicked in for sure, and for some reason a lot of neck issues lately. I think it's from sitting in the recliner all day. Also I have been having a lot of pain in my left hip, worst when I sleep and lay on my left side, but that is how you are supposed to sleep when you are pregnant so I can't avoid it as much as I would like too. I've been to the chiropractor a few times, which has helped but seems to wear off way to quickly.

Griffin is still the crazy active little guy he has been all along, keeps me laughing for sure. Some of his movements have gotten very uncomfortable though. The ones I mentioned a few weeks ago where he smashes against my uterus sometimes make me go uuugh. It feels like he's trying to break out. I describe it as how it feels when you have eaten a REALLY big meal and your just stuffed, but worse!

Today was also a first for Griffin, the first time I felt him having hiccups in there. I guess it is a good sign of lung development from what I've heard so hurray!

Other than that nothing too much new on the symptoms front.

Griffin and I are hanging in there and we are SOOOO grateful for all of you rooting for and praying for us. Keep it up, it's working!

Home from the hospital yesterday

Yesterday I got to come home from the hospital, my cervix was 2 cm at discharge. I'm still having contractions but not enough to send me back for shots. It is amazing how much I appreciate my own bed and my recliner after being stuck in a hospital bed for almost a week.

In the hospital (29 weeks)

I had my Dr appointment on Wednesday and my cervix was not looking good, it measured about 1.5 cm, with funneling(dilation) to the stitch, I had also been having a lot of contractions this week and was in labor and delivery twice in the last week to get tributiline (a horrible stingy shot in my arm) to stop the contractions. So based on all of this My Dr felt I needed to be admitted for hospital bedrest so they can observe and see if they can get things to calm down. I cried when he told me they were going to admit me, but I know it was for the best.

I had a bunch of contractions right after they admitted me and after observing my contractions for about 2 hours they finally gave me another shot of tributiline to stop them.

Wednesday they also started me on a medication called Indocine, it is an anti-inflammatory drug which works by blocking a hormone called prostaglandin. So far it has shown good results, my contractions have definitely slowed down, and Friday I had a cervical ultrasound which showed the best results we have seen in 3-4 weeks. 2.5 cm and closed above the stitch, I was so happy! I asked the Dr why it made my cervix so much better than bed rest alone and she said that it's because Prostaglandins are found in you cervix and lower uterus and they signal your body to progress and start getting ready for labor. Because the indocine blocked the Prostaglandins from continuing to do this, it has worked to help my cervix regain some length and slow down my contractions.

Unfortunately they can not keep me on this medicine for very long and today I will be stopping that med. It has a side effect of decreasing the fluid around the baby. The new one they are starting me on is called procardia and will only work to keep me from having contractions. The Dr said that now they just have to wait and see if my cervix will stay looking good, with less contractions. If it is still looking good on Monday they will let me go home, if it is not so good again after stopping the Indocine then I'll be staying here (boo).

It has been hard for me to accept everything going wrong in my pregnancy and each time I feel I have a grasp on it, I feel like things get thrown out of control again. It's so hard because not only did I just want to be a normal pregnant lady, enjoying every moment, nesting and just feeling happiness and anticipation at the arrival of our little one, I wanted Griffin to have it as easy as possible. It's sad for me, but I also worry so much more for my baby. I worry about all of the drugs they are having to pump me full of to keep him put longer. I worry about how early he will be born and what he will have to go through. I put my faith in God, and remember how thankful I am for how far we have come, I'm just holding on right now. Griffin will be here soon and I can't wait to put this behind us and move forward as a family with our little boy safe and sound in our arms.

The first day here I had a lot of back pain, but that has calmed down, and even though I am not as comfortable as I would be in my own bed I'm doing ok. I've been drinking lots of water, and eating too much hospital food (blech) and trying to keep myself busy with reading, sleeping, watching TV, and of course my computer ;)

Griffin has been a trooper, they have been hooking me up to the monitors to check for contractions and his hearbeat twice a day and he doesn't like how tight they have to make the belts, so he always gets mad and kicks them. Then the nurses all come in and say wow, he sure is an active one isn't he? I always just smile and say yep! He has been doing a lot of rolling and wiggling in there lately and making sure I pay enough attention to him.

All of the Drs and nurse keep telling me how good it is that I am at 29 weeks and how everything is going to be ok. My Dr says he thinks we can probably keep Griffin in about 4 more weeks so I am hanging onto all of that positivity and putting one foot in front of the other.

On a happier note, my baby shower was scheduled for this Sunday and now that I am in the hospital it has been moved here! I'm so glad that I have people in my life willing to drive that extra hour to celebrate with us, and people willing to rearrange things and make phone calls to make sure that everyone knew what was going on. There is a room on the second floor of the hospital that we are allowed to use, and as much as I wish we weren't having my baby shower in the hospital I am so glad it was not canceled. It is something I have been looking forward to SOOOO much and I'm so excited to put away the worry and fear for a while and just enjoy the celebration of Griffin becoming a part of our family.